We're ramping up towards December, and that it's always the hardest year for me because it's the Christmas shopping season and also the end of the semester. On one head, I'm glad because I had only one more paper to turn before final exams but on the other hand, I'm going to be working more shifts while juggling it with studying it with said exams. Hell, the mall is going to be open from 10AM to 11PM for "Moonlight Madness" and guess what shift I got: that's right it ends at 11PM. (Thankfully, I'm working five hours, but I'm still getting fatigued by mid-morning so it's going to be hell anyway.) At least I can take solace in that I'm not working at the cinema. God, can you imagine what it's going to be like to have to deal with "Twilight" fangirls.

That being said, there's also one other thing that's been bothering me for a couple weeks. I've written about it in my private journal but I thought I should get it out in the open before I explode. My sister went to Cancun last week, my parents are starting their trip to San Diego tomorrow, and my mom and sis are discussing a weekend jaunt to Las Vegas for I don't know when. It keeps reminding me how I want to get away from Lethbridge but I simply can't for several reason, two of them being the aforementioned school and work, but it's also the the lack of funds and lack of direction. There's probably many people that can relate to me, hell, I'm luckier than most in that I actually traveled quite a bit last year but I don't know. Just watching everyone else go to places I'll probably never while I stay behind brings up several unpleasant emotions: jealousy, abandonment, restlessness. The urge to break the chains and run grows stronger but the closest I can to escape is through my writing. To retreat into my imagination and blow every bridge along the way but trouble with that is that I lose my anchor to the real world.

The only thing I can say about my troubles is that I'm going to counselling, and I made an appointment with the psychiatrist. I'll let you know if anything comes out of it.